Chapter #2 “A Rebel Alliance”

I got up and grabbed a cup of coffee. I sauntered over to Mermaid Cove and had myself a look around. I was BARELY pulling together followers. And that’s okay. I could openly “sell” what I had and the old way of Selling would be obsolete in 5 years anyway. Businesses all needed an upgrade.

That would be Plan #1 Get the Businesses set up to handle the shift in the Psychological Shift that no one saw coming, but me.

Agenda #2… Keep the Cultivator-Training Program going. Overseas we were in the process of perfecting “The Power Move” we all had been planning at The Round Table. The Global Genius Group had banded together. Doctor Devise had his genius crammed into the Medical Program that would cure the World and alleviate all pain. He handled the Body — I would handle the Mind.

I needed coffee.

What time was it? 2:57 PM EST. I had a meeting soon with Doctor Devise. He was part of our Underground SuperHero League of Genius. We lived in a world where only The Vile were wanted. All others were cast assigned like cattle to slaughter.

I was in the habit of collecting cattle and training them how to… think.

I had my coffee. I imagined my way — Because I’m a Goddess and can pull off shit like that on the reg — into a spiffy elevator that lowered me into the underground layer while I sipped my coffee.

My hair shifted into a responsible bun while my clothes shifted into my Mistress Boots and my corset. As the elevator dinged on my floor, my rider’s crop was in my hand and I was on my second slow savoring sip.

“Well, well, well, Satan’s Wife,” Doctor Devise greeted me. “So nice of you to join us.”

He looked like he should be holding a white Persian cat while wearing a monacle. Lady Temptress turned in her comfy chair. Black Boots like mine and a Mask. Her hair also tied back.

“Mistress,” she said.

“Temptress,” I said coldly and took my seat at the table.

“Where is everyone?” Doctor Devise asked.

“Smart ass.” I said.

“That’s Doctor Smart Ass to you.”

“I’ll laugh later. Right! The Agenda!” I said, ignoring Doctor Devise’s attempt at humor. I would not give him the satisfaction. There was too much work to do.

“What’s first on the list?” he asked.

I sipped my coffee.

“The Hive is fully under the Power of Lord So-Wrong. The Legion is underfoot and no one can find Them. They’re making advances. But they need much more than that. They need… The 12 Ethics. Without which, we’re looking at a red sun rising.”

“Right,” Temptress said. “What is the plan?”

“I have successfully infiltrated one of Legion. I’ve slipped him a piece of the plan. And I’m waiting. Project Queen Bee is gaining speed in International Soils. And we are perfectly positioned to move.”

“Excellent,” Doctor Devise said. “We must be stealthy,” he said.

“We have to move above the Noise while not setting off the Radar,” I explained. “If anyone got wind of what I am — what I can do — I’d disappear with all the rest. What I need now, more than ever is Viral Visibility deemed “Mostly Harmless.”

“How would we do that then?” Doctor Devise asked.

I snapped my head in his general direction.

“With Humor.”

He nodded. I knew he saw the genius in my plan.

“And sheer Contrast utilizing Oxymorons to our Advantage like…” I paused for emphasis. “Philanthropic Capitalism.”

Temptress nodded in approval. “Nice.”

“And cheesy Parody Novels about Dystopian Governments peppered with Pop Culture tropes that would make the people gag. But know this,” I said. “It would all be a Disguise.”

“A ruse,” said Temptress correcting me.

“A ruse,” I said. “What we need is a Podcast.”

“Oh, I love Podcasts,” Doctor Devise said, cheerily. “Can we have Super Hero Capes?”

“Oh, course!” I said. “We’d have to have capes. And this Podcast… it would be called “This Podcast Is Not A Conspiracy!” That would throw them off.”

“Genius!” Temptress said.

I nodded my agreement. I was.

“And then… I would Market this behind the most unsuspecting ruse.”

“What’s that then?” Doctor Devise asked.

“Their own Prejudice,” I said.

Both nodded in agreement.

“Goddess Imagination — Professor of “The God School” for Witches, Spiritualists, Jesus Lovers, Conspiracy Theorists, and Mermaids… Take back your power. And to top it off, I would utilize a Zombie Apocalypse Book Campaign called… Zombies From Space… And Vampires! FISTS IN THE DARK!

“For that is what we are. Fists In The Dark.”

“Is that all then?” Doctor Devise asked. “We sell books and podcasts?”

“Of course not,” I said, irritably. “That is how we call to them. That is how we know that we can trust them and also… That is how we know that they too are one of us and not at all under the spell of Lord So-Wrong. Then… and only then… would we…” I looked over my shoulder. “EDUCATE THEM.”

“And what would we teach them?” Temptress said.

“The Truth,” I said. “Sociology, Psychology, Economics, and Physics.”

“No,” Doctor Devise said, falling back in his chair.

Temptress put a hand to her mouth. “You wouldn’t,” she said.

“Oh, I would,” I said. “But Simply,” I added. “Simple Science For Practical Use.”

“Purpose?” Doctor Devise asked.

“Purpose?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said. “Instead of “Simple Science For Practical Use.”say “Simple Science For Practical Purpose.” you know… for the alliteration of it.”

“Ah, yes!” I said. “Simple Science For Practical Purpose.” And we would have “Apocalypse Survival Classes,” I said. “Followed by This Podcast Is Not A Conspiracy!” I added.

“Excellent,” Temptress said.

“And we would let them know that all proceeds would then go toward The Radical Global Healing Plan and the Construction of The Global Immune System and The Societal Regulator, which we would market as “Sunshine Imagination Adventures For World Peace!”

“Ah,” Temptress said. “Philanthropic Capitalism.”

“You got it,” I said.

“But would it work?” Doctor Devise asked.

“Yes, It’s in the Science and my team of Psychologists are already working on it. We just need the Funding, hence these Books. And this Brand. And the God School. You see, the real problem is our Dependence. And that — really — is what we are taking away from Lord So-Wrong.

Lord So-Wrong depends on our Dependence. And the moment we take that away, Lord So-Wrong has No Influence, No Control, and No Power. So the real Agenda is to train the People in Severing all Dependence from Lord So-Wrong.”

“Tell us what you need us to do,” Temptress said.

“Right now, we get out there and we hand people this weird ass book and we invite them to The Mermaid Cove. Tell them, not to be alarmed by the Unicorn Rainbow Sparkle Farts for it is all part of the plan.

“Now go out there and be Mermaids.”